How to Handle Gaslighting: ‘I Never Said That’ and Other Lies – IIOST Community https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/feed/ Tue, 07 Apr 2026 11:09:56 +0000 https://bbpress.org/?v=2.6.14 en-US https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-141 <![CDATA[How to Handle Gaslighting: ‘I Never Said That’ and Other Lies]]> https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-141 Sat, 21 Feb 2026 08:34:30 +0000 Dr Monica Agarwal “Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser makes the victim question their own memory, perception, or sanity.

Common phrases used by narcissists:

  • ‘You’re too sensitive/dramatic.’

  • ‘That never happened, you’re imagining things.’

  • ‘I only did that because you made me.’

  • ‘Everyone else thinks you’re the problem.’

How to Protect Your Reality:

  1. Write it down: Keep a private journal of what actually happened.

  2. Don’t Argue: You cannot win a logic battle with a gaslighter. Just say, ‘We remember things differently,’ and walk away.”

]]> https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-144 <![CDATA[Reply To: How to Handle Gaslighting: ‘I Never Said That’ and Other Lies]]> https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-144 Sat, 21 Feb 2026 08:35:29 +0000 Dr Monica Agarwal “What is one phrase your partner or family member uses to make you feel ‘crazy’? Let’s list them here to show how common this tactic is.”

]]> https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-157 <![CDATA[Reply To: How to Handle Gaslighting: ‘I Never Said That’ and Other Lies]]> https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-157 Sat, 28 Feb 2026 07:00:06 +0000 Dr Monica Agarwal ## 🛡️ The “Mirror Shield” Visualization
To help the students who are recovering from narcissistic energy

The Technique: Close your eyes. Breathe in 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4.
The Visual: See a shimmering, silver mirror surrounding you. The shiny side faces outward.
The Result: Any “Evil Eye” (Nazar) or manipulative words hit the mirror and reflect back to the source, leaving your inner light untouched.

]]> https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-161 <![CDATA[Reply To: How to Handle Gaslighting: ‘I Never Said That’ and Other Lies]]> https://iiostcommunity.divinecentre.in/alumni-hub/topic/how-to-handle-gaslighting-i-never-said-that-and-other-lies/#post-161 Tue, 24 Mar 2026 09:05:09 +0000 Dr Monica Agarwal 🌿 Going Deeper: The 3 Stages of Gaslighting Recovery

Namaste beautiful souls,

So many of you resonated with the gaslighting post. Today I want to take you deeper — because recognising gaslighting is only Step 1. True healing has three stages.

Stage 1: Reality Anchoring (Weeks 1–4)
After gaslighting, your biggest challenge is trusting your own memory and perception. You may constantly second-guess yourself — “Did that really happen? Am I overreacting?”

Practice: Start a “Reality Journal.” Every time something happens that feels wrong, write it down immediately. Date. Time. Exact words said. Your exact feelings. This journal becomes your anchor to truth when your mind starts to doubt.

Stage 2: Nervous System Regulation (Months 1–3)
Gaslighting is not just psychological — it rewires your nervous system. You may find yourself constantly in “alert mode” — hypervigilant, unable to relax, flinching at raised voices.

Practice: 4-7-8 Breathing. Inhale for 4 counts. Hold for 7. Exhale for 8. Do this 3 times whenever you feel the anxiety rising. This directly signals your nervous system: “You are safe now.”

Stage 3: Identity Reclamation (Months 3–12)
This is the deepest work. Long-term gaslighting makes you forget who you were before them. You may not even know your own likes, dislikes, or opinions without referencing what they would think.

Practice: Every morning, answer 3 questions in your journal —

What do I want today? (Not what they would want)
What made me happy before this relationship?
What is one thing that is true about me that no one can take away?

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